Category Archives: Drinking

If It Can Go Wrong, It Will Go Wrong…. Chicago 2011 Edition

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I woke up Friday morning feeling extremely strange.  Instead of having a massive headache, all I initially felt was the feeling of wet hair in a pony tail and being naked.  Where the fuck was I?  Why the fuck was I naked?  I sat up, and Mina jumped up in bed and exclaimed, “Thank God, you’re alive!”  At that point, I had no idea what the hell had happened to me.  I noticed I was also covered in crab vomit, which has to be the worst kind of vomit.  I got up and luckily was wearing underwear (even though it would eventually get pitched since it too was in bad shape).  I stumbled to the bathroom, yes, still mostly naked with a wet pony tail and crab vomit.  As I entered, I was doubled over by the stench.  Once the fluorescent lights were on, all I could see was the bath tub.  It was filled almost to the brim with more crab vomit, the color green, and water.  There was a little shampoo bottle floating in it.  At that minute I just knew….. I had one helluva Thursday night!!!

Ok so time to back up!  My true, loyal, and amazing sister in adventure, Mina, and I headed up to the Windy City for the Marina and the Diamonds/Katy Perry California Dreams concert.  I bought these tickets via StubHub in January mainly for Marina and The Diamonds since I LOVE HER.  I was beyond thrilled once I got Floor 2 Level tickets.  On Thursday, I met Mina at her apartment, and her awesome boyfriend, Kelvin, drove us downtown.  We got there early so we could eat some dinner first.  Mina and I first met while working at The Indianapolis Star, so we ventured off to one of our favorite old haunts, The Front Page.  Once we stepped inside, I was SHOCKED that instead of going through a time-warp, we were actually transported into a brand new facility which was not only clean but beautiful.  What had happened to our once beloved dive that always smelled like smoke?  (It still smells like smoke meanwhile).  Apparently they re-decorated and changed the names on the menu.  No matter, fish and chips is what I wanted and fish and chips is what I got.  I was waiting for Brandon to walk in with a trench coat for some food.  It was delish and a perfect beginning to our trip.  Little did I know what fun I had in store.

We said our goodbye to Kelvin, and we were soon off for our enjoyable trip up to Chicago via the MegaBus.  On my last trip to Chicago, I was introduced to the amazingness of the Kit Kat Lounge and Supper Club, which is an awesome gay bar in Boystown.  Mina had seen the videos and was excited to go.  We checked in at the Hyatt Regency first.  For some reason, sometimes I get upgraded to really nice rooms for no reason.  Usually this involves a “boob shirt” if you will.  This time I was wearing my Tony the Tiger tee, but we still got a stunning room in the Regency Club on the 35th floor.  We had a wonderful view of the Wrigley Building.  We got dolled up and headed out to the Kit Kat.  At this moment, our night was irrevocably changed since we had the worst cabbie in the history of all Chicago cabbies.  It was an old Russian man who didn’t have proper brakes and had no idea where he was going.  He cut off at least 5 people on Lakeshore Drive, which resulted in them honking… no not a polite honk, a long and held honk that lasted a good 3 minutes.  I should have held Mina’s hand since I didn’t know if we were going to a) make it alive or b) not get cut up and butchered by Ivan the Terrible Cabbie.  Thank God we made it in one piece.  We were greeted by the lovely Sunny Delight dressed as the voluptuous Jessica Rabbit.  This drag queen was extremely beautiful with amazing features.  Mina and I kept staring at her back since she was super tall but rail thin.  Honestly, I would probably have never known it was a woman until I saw the man-hands.  She was just stunning.  Plus I’m a sucker for redheads especially Jessica Rabbit.

At this point, we had been on a bus for 3 hours and had almost been killed by Ivan.  So we were super hungry, but it was dark and we didn’t know what to order.  I made the executive decision (also known as probably the worst decision of the night) to let the waiter pick our appetizer.  I just said, “Make it a good and big one!”  He came back shortly after with not only the smallest appetizer imaginable but a seafood one at that.  I have gotten myself sick before by mixing fish + alcohol, so right away, I should have done something about this.  But no, I ate the stuff and later wore it like a necklace apparently.  Man, it has taken me 3 days until I was able to look at that picture of the food.  Seriously horrible.

I drank my favorite martini on the menu, the Kit Kat, while Mina had a peach martini and then went into the Hypnotiq martinis with free glow sticks.  As the night wore on, Sunny Delight’s clothes got skimpier, I got more wasted, and Mina kept playing with glow sticks.  On a side note, there was also a tarot card reader there.  I looked at Mina, and she was game, so we each had our tarot cards read.  Mina’s reading was not good, but mine seemed surprisingly accurate.  I was told to focus on a topic, so what to pick?  In all honesty, things are pretty good and even-keeled in my life, so I brought up the one loose cannon topic of all: children.  (yay for being drunk and planning my future, huh?)  Most of my cards had swords in them (which I would think would be negative for kiddos) and meant that I am afraid to give up my independence but am very loyal and loving when I want to be.  What really got me was she said, “I think you just encountered an issue that involves your finances, so you plan to wait a few years.  Also, you are concerned about earlier health problems and your rate to conceive.  I see you able to have children, so just know that your problem is ok.”  That was completely out of nowhere, so I felt a bit funny.  Still no Baby G’s on the horizon, but it looks like Drunk Jen was curious.

Eventually this happened around Martini #5 for me and Martini#3 for Mina.

Wow, I am super drunk here.  At this point, the place was shutting down and it was time to leave.  I remember getting in the cab and putting my head out the window, but that was it.  Apparently, I got to the room ok and told Mina I was going to lay down.  She took a quick shower.  When she came out, I told her I was going to be sick and went into the bathroom.  She said she heard the shower running, and then I came out half-naked and wet, so she assumed I had gotten sick and showered.  My guesstimate was that I got sick and puked in the bathtub (which I have done multiple times in Apt#18/19) and tried to get the puke to go down the drain which explains the water.  I guess it was too many bells and whistles for me.

Luckily I was able to function ok Friday morning, so we checked out of our hotel and took a cab to my favorite brunch place, Orange on North Clark street.  I had a wonderful and revitalizing juice smoothie and french toast kabobs to perk me up.  After that, Mina and I just wandered around Michigan Avenue for some shopping and sobering up.  We went to the Art Institute (probably my favorite place in Chicago!) so I could buy Matt a new poster for our basement.  Also, Mina had never been there so I had to introduce her to the culture!  I also needed to see those gorgeous Renoir I love so much!  While in the museum, my janky iPhone at one point dinged meaning I had a new e-mail message.  I opened to see a strange message from StubHub saying that the concert was being POSTPONED.  Automatically, I wanted to throw the phone across the room and scream as loud as possible.  Of course this show of all shows would get cancelled.  It didn’t phase Mina one bit, which relieved me.  Of course Katy Perry probably had a fight with her husband and had to cancel due to “food poisoning.”  Isn’t this what always happens?  Isn’t food poisoning code for = breaking up or fighting (or in my case graduating from college)?  Sigh.  I was pissed to say the least.  Screw Katy Perry— I was there for Marina and The Diamonds.  I don’t know if I’ll ever see her since she probably will never come to Indiana.

So after the email of doom, we went to our new hotel, the Hilton connected to O’Hare (conveniently only a few blocks from the AllState Arena which was now pointless).  Mina did teach me how to ride the El on the Blue line, so I probably could get around Chicago by myself if I needed to.  I took a much-needed nap to rest up, but then we headed back to the city for an awesome dinner.  We didn’t really know what to do since our plans had been busted for the night.  She wanted to get Italian food but couldn’t remember the name or exact location of her favorite place.  I suggested we go to Phil Stefani’s on Rush since I enjoyed it so much the last time I was there.  I knew that it might be tricky to eat Italian food since I’ve given up dairy, but I was thrilled that they had a good veal special that night.  Mina got this amazing brocoli and Scallop Risotto.  Needless to say, it was a phenomenal dinner experience.  It wasn’t too crowded, and an Italian guy started singing opera songs in the middle of the restaurant.  Afterwards, we went back to our hotel and rented the BEST MOVIE EVER.  That’s right, we rented Jane Eyre.  It had my lovely movie-star boyfriend, Michael Fassbender.  True story, I have Jane Eyre on my shelf and have tried multiple times to read it, but I always fail since the language is a bit hard to fathom.  To the day, I had never known the big “dark secret” and was pretty shocked once I found out.  I need to read that pronto!  It was such a great movie, and I’m going to buy it the day it comes out.

And no, the story does not end there.  I really wish it did.  On Saturday morning, we checked out early, took the El back to the city, and had a great brunch at Portillo’s.  Our MegaBus was scheduled to leave at 1:30 so we didn’t have much time to do anything.  We walked around a lot and said good-bye to lovely Chicago.  Our trip home was an adventure to say the least.  We were on a bus filled with old housewives who sold Pampered Chef stuff.  No, I have never been to a Pampered Chef party and never will.  I realize that it is a good business for some women, but I just hate their selling technique, especially the ones harassing our driver to get his wife involved in the pyramid scheme.  Can’t I just ride a bus in peace without hearing you trying to sell someone a meat grinder?  I was sitting in the third row on the left side of the bus next to the window.  As the bus was merging on 65-South from 90, a semi next to use started getting really close… ok super close… ok wtf… OMG HE IS GOING TO HIT US!  Yeah, I leaned as far into Mina as possible as the semi side-swiped our bus and hit the driver side mirror.  Sure, it wasn’t a lot of damage, but it could have been a lot worse.  I grabbed my camera to take a picture just in case, and was pissed to see it was a semi with fucking KIM KARDASHIAN on the semi.  ARE YOU KIDDING ME?  I almost got killed by a semi with KIM KARDASHIAN ON IT!!!!  Thank God I took a picture because the sentence “Our MegaBus just got side-swiped by a semi with Kim Kardashian’s picture on it” seems pretty far-fetched and crazy.  Matt didn’t believe me when I called.  ”Are you trying to tell me that you missed the bus somehow because that sounds impossible.”  We had to pull over and wait for a state trooper to fill out an accident form.  It took an extra hour to get back to Indy, but at least I was alive.

So yeah, that was Chicago 2011.  I’d say it was pretty epic, wouldn’t you?

And if you know anyone who wants to buy Floor Level 2 tickets to Katy Perry let me know since I cannot go to her re-scheduled show in August.  As Mina said, “only this kind of stuff happens to you.”  I’m starting to believe people when they tell me this.

**Shamrock Shake St. Patty’s Day 2011**

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Party #3, and let me say— I think Matt and I are now pros at throwing a great party!  Emily insisted that we need to throw a party every quarter, so her wish is thy command!  When I was a kid (pre-Charlie) my parents used to throw a St. Patrick’s Day party every year and invite all of my Dad’s teacher friends.  Ahhh the memories of being locked in my room playing with my dog while listening to the raucous party in the other room.  So I knew that the weekend would celebrate not only St Patrick’s Day a bit early but also the fact it was the 1 year anniversary of us buying our house (woo!  1 down and 29 years to go!  We probably own the front door by now!)  Emily is pretty much the party planner behind the scenes since she knows what everyone likes and is extremely helpful.  I always serve the same things- the Filipino aisle including pancit and egg rolls, and then I always get fruit, veggies, and chips.  I have made meatballs twice before, and I’ll be real, I’m not great at meatballs.  So Emily suggested I try pigs-in-a-blanket.  I thought this would be a great idea.  I also ordered a cake from Classic Cakes in Carmel, which was FABULOUS!  It was white cake (dyed green) with raspberry innards.  Mmmmm!!

On Friday, I went to Meijer after work to get the groceries.  Now, I know I am a fanatic when it comes to hot dogs, but I have never bought cocktail weenies.  Actually, I can honestly say my parents had NEVER made pigs-in-a-blankets before.  (This is a bit shocking, I know).  I didn’t know where to go to find those ‘lil weenies.  So yeah, I went to the canned meat aisle and bought some Vienna sausages.  I mean, they are small, and weiners, and ummm yeah.  I called Emily and Tim and left a message for both.  Thankfully, Tim eventually called me back to tell me I was an idiot, and instructed me on finding the weenies.  What would I do without him?  I had already planned to have a “Mini-Charlie Sheen” theme since he has lost his damn mind lately.  I found some awesome cards on Tiny Prints that have Sheen as a leprechaun who is surrounded by his two Goddesses in the form of a sheep.  I served grasshoppers since they are green and googled my new favorite drink: Tiger’s Blood!  This was a huge hit with the women.  Cranberry + Raspberry flavored vodka = heaven!  I looked for shirts with Charlie’s head on them, but alas, I was unable to find any.

On Saturday, we had amazing weather in Indy!  It was very windy, but we didn’t have to wear a coat!  I wanted to put out the deck furniture, but it probably would have blown away.  The one awesome thing about our parties is that some people make it even if they live far away.  My favorite house guests are Gino and his girlfriend, Jen, who live in Ft. Wayne.  I still find it hilarious that I met Gino at my first job and he was frat brothers at IU with Matt.  He is by far one of the funniest people I have ever met anyway, so I am always excited to hang out with them.  His girlfriend is a peach!  I wish they lived closer to us so we could see them more often.  They are throwing a party in July, and I hope we can make it.

Of course Eric was planning on getting plowed too.  He just had his birthday last week, so he already called the guest bedroom.  I knew I wanted to include our Kinect since lots of people had never played it.  What is gold?  That’s right – drinking, dancing like idiots, and Whiskey dressed like a leprechaun.  (And he was a huge hit per usual!)  I was excited both Albin and Rowsey could make the party.  Unfortunately, Rowsey didn’t show up until about 3 hours into the party, and Albin and Jordie had already left.  I had told Eric that Rowsey was coming, and she was the only single girl there.  You never know when people will hit it off.  He’s a goofball, and she likes goofballs, so it could have worked.  WRONG.  Eric got slammed, and when he went up to talk to her, he kind of yelled in her face, “YOU ARE 3 FUCKING HOURS LATE!” and he took her phone out of her hand.  I was like, hmmm… smooth.  About 15 minutes later, he did end up vomiting green.  The whole vomit scenario was pretty funny since Matt took care of him and we just heard Matt ask bizarre questions like, “Eric, you’re my friend, right?  Then why would you want to fuck up my house and puke in my sink?”  Then 2 seconds later I just heard him scream, “GET ON YOUR KNEES!”  Matt was either making him his prison bitch or Eric was vomiting while standing straight up.  Ahhh… to be 24 and a rookie.

I almost forgot- my mom called me around 11:45 to check on the party.  I told her things were going well.  “Ok, well I am coming over.”  Ummm?  I hung up the phone and was walking down the stairs, and she just walked into the house!  So she had called me while standing on my front porch.  My mom is so bizarre.  She always likes to check on the guests to make sure nobody is about to die of alcohol poisoning or drive home drunk.  Of course, Eric is drunk and sees her and starts running up to her and saying, “Let me give you a lap dance!”  Yeah, ummm mortifying for everyone.  My mom just started yelling jibberish probably in Tagalog, and Eric just replied, “You don’t know me… you don’t know me.”  (Sidenote, she totally called on Sunday and said “You tell Eric I do know his name, and I like him when he is sober.”  Shame by Redempta, Buuuurrrrnnn!)

The Kinect was a gigantic hit.  I had little party bags for the best boy and girl dancer.  We had a fun dance off, and Jen A. won the girls round (and won a “Kiss Me, I’m Irish!” shirt, Lucky underwear, Wuthering Heights as a book on tape, Thin Mints, and 2 cans of Vienna Sausages.)  For some reason, most of the girls didn’t want to compete.  The boys on the other hand were completely different.  They ALL wanted to compete.

Now I love Dr. Tim very much.  He is my bestest friend in the entire world.  Ok, get it?  I love him…. BUT the boy is a terrible dancer.  I can remember watching him drop Bethany at the Cactus many years ago while dancing.  He is good at the picking up part, but dancing… it is quite humorous!  Well, the Kinect is a machine and not sentient, so of course, Tim would win the prize.  God, I love him.  He cracks me up.  I love this video!

Memorable Quotes of the Weekend:

Me:  ”I heard The Adjustment Bureau was good, but the person who saw it described it as a reverse Adam & Eve story… what the fuck is that supposed to mean?”

Gino:  ”The world is destroyed and two people are left and they force feed a snake an apple!”

**

“Sure Eric is cute, but how about that one?”

“Umm…. I think he is 18.  Like a freshman in college.  And he’s the DD.  Jesus.”

**

“Tell that girl to go fuck a dead horse!”

“MOTHER! WHA…??”

**

“PHIL! PHIL! PHIL!” *chanting to get Phil in on the dancing.

**Seconds later** “Umm, Phil is doing what we call the “Phil Snap!”

**

“I dance like I’m black, watch!”

“I’m brown and watch me fuck!”

**

“Let’s take pictures of our penises on her camera!  That will teach her to leave it here!”

“You have the only brown penis.  She will know who it was who started it!”

Again, another successful party.  Hopefully for the quarterly Gualdoni party this summer we can convince PARTY MARTY to return!!  This would be EPIC!  And now I leave you with a picture of me stealing Rowsey’s tiara of awesome!  Can’t wait for the next party!!  See more pictures and videos here!

The Olive Pizza Incident

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This weekend can be classified under three of my favorite words:  relaxing, spontaneous, and spectacular!  On Friday, I worked a half day and came home to the start of a fun weekend.  I had nothing planned, and I was literally sitting all by myself talking to Whiskey.  As much as I love to do this, I decided I need a change in scenery.  Matt is still working second shift, so I decided to call my bestie for assistance.  Unfortunately, Tim was up north visiting his family so he was out.  However, Tim’s cousin, Eric, is living with Tim as he finishes up Pharmacy School at Butler.  I gave him a call and BOOM, I had plans for the Ale Emporium with Big Tim.

On my way to pick him up, I decided to give my friend, Oliver a call.  Oliver and Eric had met at Matt’s 30th birthday party, and they had gotten along wonderfully.  Oliver lives in Noblesville, so I wasn’t sure if he would be able to meet us out in Castleton.  As fate would have it, he was helping someone move into the apartments right across the street from the Ale.  After that, I texted Emily, and she was also able to meet us.

It has been so long since I’ve been able to hang out with a misfit group spontaneously.  I think that is one of the top things I miss most about college life; you could just show up somewhere and you would have friends waiting for you.  After a few beers and cheese fries, I went back to Tim’s house and played the new Scene It! Comedy edition with Eric.  It was a bit strange being in Tim’s house without Tim being there.  I felt bad for Matt since he missed out on a fun night.  He was pretty bummed out since he no longer has a Friday night of fun.

On Saturday, we headed out to Cafe Patachou for breakfast and a bit of window shopping.  I bought a tax program and got started on our taxes.  I think this will be the first time ever that I will owe taxes.  Rawr.  Well, I had a good long run of getting tax returns, so I guess I’m due.  Matt and I decided to keep the fun rolling and invited Eric over for dinner.  He had nothing to do and was more than happy to eat our free food.  I decided to make Matt’s favorite which is orechiette with sausage and brocoli.  It is a staple in our house, but I needed to pick up a few things.  We were at Marsh when I noticed the NEW olive bar.  I wanted to buy a few and some fun cheeses, but Matt wouldn’t let me.  I tell you what, when you can’t have something you want really bad, it just makes you want it MORE.

So after dinner we got pretty wasted and started watching the movie Red.  I didn’t understand what was going on since I was a) drunk and b) hungry for olives.  I made the executive decision at midnight to order from Pizza Hut for us.  The guys were shouting what they wanted on it, and I said, “I’LL ORDER THE PIZZA SINCE I AM PAYING FOR IT.”

*ring ring*

‎”Yes, I would like a pizza with a shit ton of olives.”
“Excuse me?”
“You heard me- I want an olive fucking pizza.”
I love drunk dialing Pizza Hut.  The poor kid on the other line just couldn’t help but laugh at me.  The pizza showed up in 20 minutes (a new record!) and we were ravenous.  I opened the box, and everyone literally gasped.



I had ordered the world’s worst pizza.  I LOVE OLIVES, but man, this was just plain gross.  I only had one piece, and it felt weird as it was going down the throat.  The little olive ridges were tickling me, and it felt like I was eating a pizza topped with beetles.

We never finished “Red,” so I have no idea what that movie is even about.  All I remember is John Malkovich walking around with a cross-bow.  I’m not a huge fan of Bruce Willis, so I don’t know why I even gave this movie a chance.  I fell asleep, so Matt decided to indoctrinate Eric in the art of “Black Dynamite.”  I seriously don’t understand why he loves that movie so much.

The worst part about an olive pizza?  Opening the fridge the next morning and seeing it with fresh, sober eyes.  Never again.

**Cocktail Party 2010**

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It is a Purdue tradition that when it hits December, there needs to be a cocktail party.  My old friends would throw a magnificent cocktail party where the only pre-requisites were that you dressed up in cocktail attire and you brought your own wine glass.  It was always a lot of fun, and crazy stuff always managed to go down.  The girls of Salisbury Street would have someone buy lots of booze for us since we were only 20 at the time.  (Ahh to be illegal). 

During 2002, I managed to have a pretty good time, and my boyfriend spilled the beans to my friends that he wanted to propose to me.  When I found this out, I decided to make out with a pilot and spell his name backwards.  Ha!  In 2003, I was dating a new guy, and I was in the process of growing out my hair.  (Bad decision!)  It was a pretty good date considering that we went to the bars later and the new guy physically picked me up so I wouldn’t get cobblestones in my shoes as we left Harry’s parking lot.  This was also the first time I discovered heated seats.  So yes, cocktailin’ is a favorite of mine.

We had a successful party for Matt’s 30th birthday, so we knew round #2 would be good.  I was a bit bummed out since my boy, Timmy, told us Dec. 18th was perfect for him, but then he couldn’t attend because he was having his family Christmas.  A party without Timmy?  Yikes!  I wanted to cancel right then and there.  I can’t do anything without him!  We did have close to 20 people RSVP, so I was happy so many people wanted to join us.

Another reason why I think our parties are good is because a) I get Filipino catered food and b) we don’t scrimp on booze.  Anything you wanted, we had it: scotch, gin, bourbon, whiskey, wine, beer, etc.  Top shelf, bitches!  I believe in an open bar. 

I was a bit ambitious this year and bought two cocktail dresses that were one size too small.  I have been working out and trying to eat better to lose some weight.  Needless to say, this was stupid of me, and I looked a bit like a Christmas ham meets 3-months pregnant linebacker.  Then I decided, “Screw it, it is my house and I don’t care.”  So I put on my new red cocktail dress and attached the straps and applied some fire engine red lip stick.  We had 2 stations.  The hard alcohol was in the living room, and I made a martini station in the kitchen.  My favorite drink is a grasshopper, so I bought the ingredients for that and added a candy cane to each drink. 

When everyone started to arrive, I was shocked that everyone wanted grasshoppers.  Usually people think they are weird since they are green.  It was a great choice!  I was so happy to see many of my Noblesville high school friends who were in town.  Natalie came down to give Laura a bridal shower, so all the girls from that came!  I was thrilled seeing Tiara and her husband Billy, meeting Laura’s fiancée, playing video games with Dana’s boyfriend, and of course chilling with Natalie and Emily.  It was funny when old boy Oliver strolled in.  Oliver also went to high school with us, but I wasn’t really friends with him then.  We connected during the high school reunion, and Matt loves him.  So the girls were loving having Oliver around for the party!  (Plus Oliver brought homemade wine— AMAZING!) 

Matt had a lot of friends come too!  We had Gino and Brad come down from Ft Wayne with their dates.  They are so much fun.  They both play in a band together, so it was funny to me watching them play Rock Band on easy since they never played the game before.  Hilarious!  I also had a group of guys playing the old X-men arcade game with me.  Since that game was originally Japanese, we heard some hilarious dialogue.  As we were fighting Magneto at the end, he kept saying “DIE X-CHICKENS!”  I believe he was supposed to say “X-men” and not “X-Chickens.”  I couldn’t stop laughing. 

Whiskey was a huge hit in his sweater vest.  My girl, Ashley, from my old job came with her husband.  They are so funny.  Jordie tried to save Whiskey from eating a tooth pick, which was nice of him.  Ashley also was trying to set up Roque with one of her single friends since he is newly on the market.  I felt bad for Roque since Tim wasn’t there (our mutual friend between us) or Jeff (Matt’s mutual friend between them).  Plus, there was only one single girl there to mingle with and not zillions.  Oh well, I am glad we are now hanging out with him.  He is an awesome guy!

I’d say the best cocktail dress of the night went to Emily in her beautiful blue dress, and the best male outfit went to her friend, Jeff.  Oliver’s moustache always kills me, so I just can’t award it, haha.  Dana was drunk of the night since she drank a rum and coke larger than her head.  She then called her mom to be her designated driver and offered that service to all participants of the party.  It was hilarious. 

Overall, I am glad we have epic parties.  I got so many e-mails and thank you’s on Sunday which really meant a lot to me.  Also, I found it interesting that we had more booze at the end of the party than when we began.  Everyone brought wine and mixers, (not needed or expected but WOO!)  which was great.  Gino and his girlfriend, Jen, spent the night (with Brad and Courtney in the hotel down the street), so we got lunch on Sunday afternoon together.   Hopefully, we will get to hang out with them in Fort Wayne this weekend after all of the holiday festivities end.  Matt was massively hung over, so we just took it easy on Sunday.  I am really excited for the holiday parties this weekend.  On Friday we will go to my Aunt Becky & Uncle Archie’s house to have Christmas Eve with my cousin’s children.  On Christmas, I think we are just staying home to relax and enjoy the day.  There is no need to rush around.  I want to make a delicious dinner.  On Sunday,we will most likely go to Fort Wayne to visit Matt’s family.

I love this time of year!

To Breed Or Not To Breed? That is The Question.

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What a week!  Where to begin?  Last week, we were anticipating the arrival of our new sectional for the basement.  We paid extra for Haul Away of the ugly furniture that was left for us.  Here is where the story gets totally FUBAR-ed and so my life.  When the delivery men came to bring the furniture, they automatically went to the basement to bring the old stuff out.  Well, the furniture in the basement was TOO BIG to fit through the staircase.  WHAT? How can furniture that is already downstairs not FIT and go up?  Apparently, the previous owners couldn’t get the pieces out, and that is why they left it there.  The furniture we bought was the same size as what was downstairs, so alas, they wouldn’t fit.  WONDERFUL.  Last weekend, we had to go back to the furniture store and buy something else.  We picked a different sectional that is bigger, has a chaise (for me!) and a recliner.  The big downside is that it is micro-fiber.  I fucking hate microfiber, but this couch was THE ONLY ONE that would fit.  I looked into customizing it, but it was too much $$ and too long time-wise.  Hopefully, I will like it once we have it.  It’s better than the floor.  I shouldn’t complain about it since it is nice furniture, but DAMN yo.  So tomorrow we get the new sectional.  Gualdoni already destroyed the furniture with a hammer.  Nice.  Nothing like coming home to shamble furniture.

Last Friday, Emily and I had a wonderous girls night.  We went and bought An Affair To Remember, which is one of my favorite classic movies.  She had never seen it.  I remember watching that in high school and vowing to drink pink champagne and be fancy.  So that is exactly what we did.  I bought some pink champagne and we got drunkity drunk drunk.  In perfect harmony, I then became extremely hungry and got the munchies.  I decided to call Charlie and beg him to go buy me Taco Bell.  Yes, I really did scream this into the phone,

“CHARLIE, I AM DISABLED!  YO QUIERO TACO BELL!”  Of course he hung up.  I would not stop.  I NEEDED TACO BELL.  I then called Mama Redempta.  She was in no mood to deal with my drunk ass, but I yelled, “I WILL DRIVE DRUNK AND BLIND TO TACO BELL AND DIE!”  For some reason, that worked.  She asked what Emily wanted.  Hilarious.  I am shameful.  She pulled up and had the tacos hanging out the window and wouldn’t talk to me.  Haha.  Love you, Mom.

Yesterday I had my annual Remicade treatment.  I took the entire day off since I have a few to burn.  It was bad scheduling since our District Manager came into town and took us out to a fancy dinner, which I had to miss.  I don’t drive at night especially somewhere I’m not familiar with.  It is a sucky truth, but the eye in winter sleeps.  I actually almost hit a duck the other night that was sitting in the middle of my street.  If I can’t see a white duck on my own street, I’m not navigating Broad Ripple.

I also had a doctor appointment during the infusion.  I usually just go in and get my treatment.  I am usually in and out in around 2.5 hours or so.  The appointment was interesting since we talked about having kids.  When I was first diagnosed, I was told I couldn’t have kids while on the medicine since it was an X rated drug, which means Baby = Dead or Deformed.  Apparently, the reason behind that was because there wasn’t enough evidence/testing on pregnant women.  Now the drug is Rated B, which means that I could have a baby.  Gualdoni and I have talked about it, and now that it is a possibility and not just an easy answer of, “This broad can’t have a kid unless I want it to come out like a cabbage,” I am actually a bit scared.

So I did what you’d think.  I called Nikki, my bestie through and through up there in Alaska.  It was perfect timing since she was shopping for lamb meat for an Irish stew.  She cracks me up.  She and her husband are in the race to have a baby.  They’ve been trying.  It is crazy to me.  10 years ago when she was mute in Chemistry class, I never thought I would call her for re-producing advice while she shopped in Alaska.  The future trip to Alaska is tentatively scheduled for summer 2011.  Oh the things I do for love.  Haha.  Next year will be spectacular travel wise.  I’ll be in Arizona in a month for NSM, Alaska in June, Summer NSM at undisclosed location, and then Hawaii in the fall.  I’d say I’m a pretty lucky girl, wouldn’t you?  I have to make time to visit Suzy out in So Cal soon too.  Once I’m suitable for beach weather that is.  Ha.

I so love my job.  Today was amazing.  I was a bit bummed to miss out on yesterday’s festivities, but I was welcomed back with our Holiday Luncheon!  Good catered food, great co-workers and friends, and a Free Door Prize of a $15 Target gift card!  They had a photo booth, which was great.  We had so much fun.

In other news, I have mostly been doing lots of knitting.  I am getting pretty good if I say so myself.  I finished an AMAZING hat yesterday, which I got a lot of compliments on.  It was my first experiment with cable knitting, and I’d say it is pretty kick ass.  See for yourself.  I think I’ll make Mina one since she is always my hat muse.  Only two more weeks until she is back!  I have only two hats left to knit for Christmas gifts.  After that, I think I might have to go crazy on knitting for myself.  We’ve got a pregnant friend, so once I hear what they are having, I’ll be on blanket mode.  I love making blankets, but they sure do take a long time.  I am a lot faster now, so hopefully it won’t take as long.  It took me 6 months to knit Gualdoni’s (but I was in college) and only 4 months for Nikki’s blanket.  Maybe I can crank one out in 2 months?

I Could Never Be Bulimic

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I have no idea why I have been so sick this month.  Usually I am the epitome of health (other than the blasted eye condition, actually now that I write this… no, I am not the epitome of health!)  I had a pretty wonderful weekend before I got sick.  On Saturday, Gualdoni and I met up with his old IU frat brothers for Marty’s going away party.  We went to Chumley’s in Broad Ripple, which really brought back pleasant memories.  I went there for my first “official” drink when I turned 21, so I’ll always love that place.  Gualdoni’s friends from way back when are hilarious.  It was nice being the only girl in a group of 7 guys.  I like those odds.  Let’s be honest, I get along better with dudes than chicks any day.

I bought a fun Lady GaGa wig from a Halloween store too.  I wanted to wear it out, but damn, it looked pretty wretched.  Instead I took pictures in the privacy of my own home so I could post them on the limitless internet.  I don’t know why I look orange in this picture.  This proves that I could never go back and do bangs either.

On Sunday, we didn’t do anything at all, which was great.  Emily’s house finally sold, so we thought it would be nice to take her out for a celebratory dinner.  I was craving some Italian and there is a Buca di Beppo next to her house so we met there.  Ok, usually I’m all about Buca, but we had a really lousy experience.  Our waitress wasn’t very good, which is rare when I go there.  We ordered a lot of food and got it in a strange and slow order.  There was a couple behind us that got there 45 minutes after us and they got their food before us.  Yeah, unacceptable.  We got a mixed green salad, calamari appetizer, and shared some prosciutto stuffed chicken and spicy rigatoni.  I love their salad and gobbled a lot of that.  I do like calamari, but I don’t ever eat very much of it.  The three of us shared a bottle of wine, so we were doing good.  I felt fine.  But not for long.

We then went to Emily’s house so Gualdoni could check her TV.  (It was having problems so he was making sure it wasn’t anything serious).  She is selling some of her stuff, so we put an offer for her King sized bed.  I need more space in bed.  You’d be surprised how much room Gualdoni takes up and Whiskey.  Whiskey’s nickname should be “Sprawl Dog” since he literally just sprawls out and takes over so much room.

We went back home and relaxed by watching Boardwalk Empire.  That show is really good if you haven’t seen it.  At around 11:00 pm, I start feeling terrible all of a sudden.  Granted, we ate from about 5:45-7:00,  so this was hours later.  I’m thinking its heartburn so I take a pill plus a Tylenol.  Unfortunately, those pills did not help.  About 30 minutes later, I ran to the bathroom and pretty much died.  It’s horrible having the stomach flu.  Just plain horrible.  It was garbage day so we had just cleaned the bathrooms too.  Yeah, I managed to yuck in the trash can (with no liner mind you) and destroyed it.  You know when you are vomiting and you get puke in your nose?  Well, I had a case of that.  I started blowing my nose to get the remnants out and I noticed something swirly looking back at me.  Yes, I just puked a SQUID TENTACLE.  FUCK.  I seriously screamed and almost killed myself right there.  It is unnatural to puke tentacles.  For fuck sake.

Gualdoni was a good sport and took the destroyed bathroom trash can outside to the curb while only wearing boxer shorts.  That’s true love.  About 2 hours later (with no sleep mind you,) I had bout #2.  This time I went downstairs to our other bathroom.  I was so close to puking in the washing machine since I didn’t think I would make it to the toilet.  Then I would have really died if I did that.  Just because you see a hole doesn’t mean you should puke there.

I emailed my boss at this point and said I had the stomach flu and wouldn’t be in to work.  I woke up at 9 and thought, “Crap, I’m late for work.”  I ended up going in for a few hours.  My work partner will be out of the office for a few days and I needed to get some things from her.  My boss was pretty cool.  He told me to leave and go home.  ”Take 2 Tylenol and drink a scotch.  It’ll cure you.”  When he said that, all I could think of was an animated squid drinking a scotch, I’m not going to lie.

Come to me Gatorade.  My savior.

Song of the Moment: Dido – “White Flag”

“I’ll pass. Beer is the nectar of the nitwit.”

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Weekend Statistics:

Cosmopolitans:  2

Amaretto Sours:  2

Norton Red Wine:  2

What a weekend!  After the ridiculous deer accident, Gualdoni had to go up to Detroit for a few days.  He got back to Indy on Friday at around 6pm, so we actually got to spend time together!  I was so excited to actually see him for the night.  I really hate that he works 2nd shift sometimes… mostly on Fridays since I usually have nothing to do.  We decided to go out to the Ale Emporium for COMIC BOOK TRIVIA.  My comic store was advertising this, and the winner of each night would win a $25 gift certificate.  This was AMAZING news, and I just had to win!  My drug of choice ain’t cheap, people!  Another note, earlier that day I went to the doctor for results of my physical.  Again, my cholesterol is still crazy high.  Ugh, so I am back on my diet of fish, fish, and more fish.  It is really fucking hard to get fresh fish here I tell ya.  So we figured we’d go out with a BANG this weekend.  Yes, I have 2 work trips planned, but they are to Chicago and Boston, and you can get fish there at anytime.  Woo.

We headed out to The Ale Emporium for my favorite, cheese fries.  (They are heaven in my mouth!)  We got there a little early to get used to the trivia.  We thought we were the only people playing, but then this guy sits down at the table next to us to play.  He was an older man, a typical comic-book-guy looking fellow.  He was only drinking diet coke, so all Gualdoni and I could think about was that Simpsons episode “Worst. Episode. Ever” with the CBG.  Hahaha!  Gualdoni and I are acting a little rowdy, so then we start heckling him to see if he’s cool.  Luckily, he was an awesome guy.  (Speaking of crazed CBGs, did you all hear about the stabbing at San Diego Comic-Con?  PSYCHO!)  We started playing the comic book trivia– he was ahead of me, but then he missed the last question which was about The Watchmen, which I love and easily got.  I thought he would have gotten it no problem since The Watchmen is kind of like the comic book person’s bible on how everything is measured up to.  Then the winner is announced and IT’S ME!  ME!  $25 dollars COME TO ME!!  Me…. a GIRL!  YES! I love it when that happens!  After the game, we left to go home, and this CBG’s name is Nathan.  They were going to have another trivia night on Saturday, so we told him we’d come back and re-match!

On Saturday, I did a lot of laundry and getting stuff sorted for my Chicago trip.  Gualdoni’s bf PARTY MARTY came over for some BBQing and booze.  Again, I was on DD patrol, so I didn’t hardly drink anything.  The guys got rowdy and went to the pool, and scared off all of the older patrons there… *sigh.  After a bit, I drove us to the Ale Emporium again.  Gualdoni warned Marty about our new friend and that I would probably be acting psycho to win some more prizes.  We saw Nathan there and asked if he wanted to sit with us.  We had a really fun time.  Marty is hilarious when he has a lot of liquor in him.  He chronicled his ex- girlfriend’s love of boa constrictors around his penis and so forth.  Overall, a very successful night.  In fairness, Nathan won the contest on Saturday night, which was cool.

I already know what I’ll be buying with my $25 gift card!  I also went to ULTA today and bought a ton of make-up and hair stuff.  Rowsey showed me the way.  I’ll give her the credit.  Ha!  Well, tomorrow I get to go to Chicago for a week for work for our PSM!  hooray!  I am so excited!  I’ll also get to spend some time with Amanda too!  I’m so stoked!!!  I love my job!